When Nat finds himself explaining men to women and women to men, does that make him a member of the ‘third sex’?
I really hate it when gay people are referred to as ‘the third sex’. With absolutely no offense intended towards people of the transgender or intersex community, it makes me feel weird because I’m a man, albeit a homosexual one. And I don’t think of myself as much different from other men. In this age of inclusiveness and acceptance, however, I’m willing to let it slide. The important thing is that people are accepting of who I am. But then I also get how, as a gay man, with female friends, I bridge the gap between men and women and am often called upon to explain my heterosexual counterparts to said female friends.
The problem is I don’t always deliver good news.
I find it difficult to relate to Sex and the City. While I love Sarah Jessica Parker and think she has great fashion sense, I also find that show annoying. Here’s a group of women with an overblown sense of entitlement. They feel they should have everything and when they don’t get everything, it is the fault of men.
Yes, yes, I understand the irony of Carrie Bradshaw and her cohorts because the show also depicts them as being less than perfect. My point, however, is that Sex and the City illustrates an alarming tendency in people today not to want to compromise, whatever their sex or sexual orientation — that when they are being overly demanding, they are not wrong, despite being imperfect themselves.
A female friend recently posted a link on Facebook to an article by a woman who is trying to write an instruction manual on women for men: 10 Things Not to Do When I’m Being a Bitch. Basically, what the advice boils down to is this: that woman is going to be cruel, inconsiderate and self-centred on occasion and men need to deal with it. It’s all about emotions, hormones and being a woman, says she.
If that’s the case, are men allowed to be violent, uncommunicative and self-centred? No. Take it from me, in certain situations, it is totally unacceptable for a man to even open a door for a woman, don’t even mention slamming it. As women start to demand understanding, I think men should get some too.
I understand that all a lot of us want is for others to cut us some slack. There are times when we make mistakes and we should be forgiven for it if we show true contrition or if we make a concerted effort to fix that mistake.
And so my message to everyone — men, women, gay, straight, transgender and anything that I may have missed — is that we are not entitled to indulge our basest instincts. So when a woman feels like ‘being a bitch’ or a man wants to go smash something, I am not only slipping shamefully into sexual stereotyping, I am advocating taking a step away from the situation and taking time to consider whether or not one is being reasonable.
Even children know to count to ten.